cause no one will ever feel like this again

I feel nothing.
I have so many thoughts, so many ideas, so many wants and needs, and I feel nothing.
I can't stop shaking. I'm freezing.
I'm so scared of myself. I'm so scared of what is inside.
I make so many omissions I can't take myself seriously anymore.
Or maybe I take myself too seriously.
I'm begging for attention, I'm pleading for help, but my nails have all broken off from all this digging.
I wish I had a God to save me.
Do you ever get the feeling that this is not your life? that it's just on loan and if you don't make the necessary payments they'll take it away?