cutme

I've realized that the only way to survive is to shut the fuck up. Unfortunately, I am unable to do so.

I just wish. Fuck, I don't even know anymore. I want everything to be alright. I want to not have everything fall down around me.

I'm worried I'm losing my mind. I have no excuses. I have nothing. Im afraid.

I don't want to make excuses, or have this look like I'm trying to make something up. I just truly have no idea what's going on anymore. Everything is unraveling and it's all because of me.

I love you so fucking much and yet I can't stop being myself, which is what ruined the last one, and the one before that. I'm pretty sure that if there was a gun in this house I wouldn't have made it to work today.

This is all about my paranoia. This is all in my head and I'm sorry I've dragged you in.

I just wish I knew the right words to say and the right things to do to make this all go away. I feel as if this is the worst thing I've done in awhile.

I am a fuck up. I always fuck things up. I don't know how not to.