she loves you. deal with it. he hasn't forgotten you.

When things are going right is when I get the most depressed. I just can't be happy.

Or if I'm alone in my room I stop thinking and just listen. Then I am truly lonely and I wish to end it all.

I believe I am forever doomed to feel this way and that way of thinking makes me want to just stop.

There is nothing for me to turn to. I hate to burden you and there is no God in my life to pray to. I've never needed anyone before so why do I feel the need to start now?

I hate how people decide one day that they are going to follow a new religion. I could understand if they researched different kinds and decided which one is what they believed in. It's different than one day deciding that you are no longer mormon or jewish or christian because you will always know when your heart is not in it, when you are more dependent on thinking about what is right than feeling what is right.

I wish I knew what felt right.

There is nothing in this world for me to live for and yet I'm still here and I can't figure out why.

I have nothing to complain about, I live a perfectly normal life with loving parents and friends, and yet I still sit by myself in my room, on the bus, at the mall, in the movie theatre. I avoid people only because I want to be near them all the time but I know that will only eventually drive them away, that they will eventually see the real me in those rare moments.

I've become more paranoid than usual because everyone I have ever loved like a family member leaves me. I believe that if I do the leaving then I won't get hurt but that hasn't worked either.

I'm so scared of what I could do to myself, of what I will eventually do to myself, but I know all plans must come to fruition eventually, whether one wants them to or not.

I am wreck and there is no cure.