I can see all the veins in my hands. It almost looks like a chicken wire fence if someone had driven a truck through it first.

I wish my heart, my chest, didn't ache every time I got like this.

There is a yearning inside to be somebody else. Anybody as long as it's not this fucked up person that I've become.

Sometimes I forget what I look like and I have to look in the mirror before I remember. It would scare me if I didn't care. If I could forever forget what I looked like and never remembered to look in the mirror to check that I'm still breathing.

This is pointless and useless and I wish I didn't need to write this out. I wish I could keep everything a secret but I yearn for so much attention.